Digestive disarray

Hi everyone, just a quick blog tonight. It wasn’t planned so I might not make much sense, and my grammar might be awful because I’m not in the mood for perfection 🙈 I don’t feel well, and it takes its toll on my mental health. I don’t really have anyone to tell as I don’t like bothering my family, so I thought it might help a bit to write it all down. I’ve felt awfully nauseous all day thanks to my suspected gastroparesis. I knew it was going to be a bad day when I couldn’t keep a milkshake & a cup of tea down at lunchtime. I vomited straight afterwards & felt sick all afternoon. That made me feel a little depressed as I’ve recently had a few ‘good’ gastro days, so I wasn’t expecting it to come at me like this again so quickly. 

I was hungry at tea time after throwing up all my dinner so I thought I would try some actual food. I hoped it would go down well but I was wrong. It went down, but it didn’t stay there for long. I felt dreadfully sick & bloated after eating & before I knew it, I was vomiting it all back up. Well, I think my stomach managed to hang on to some of it, which is always a win I guess. It’s over 2 hours since I finished my tea but I still feel incredibly nauseous. I’m ready for another cup of tea right now, but dare I risk it? I know it’ll either come back up before bed, or it’ll just intensify my sickness. It’s just not fair, as believe it or not, I do actually enjoy food. But when you have a dysmotility disorder such as gastroparesis, it just doesn’t digest. I shouldn’t have to pay such a high price for trying to enjoy a meal, should I? 

It’s mentally draining to put up with this as well as everything else that comes with Marfan syndrome. I’m sorry I’m not taking it as well as I should do. But if this was someone else’s life, I’m sure they’d be the same. I hoped the digestive disarray wouldn’t last long, but it seems I’m not that lucky & it’s going to be another chronic illness that I have to learn to live with. Do you have a dysmotility disorder, particularly gastroparesis? How do you deal with the nausea? The vomiting? How do you get other people to understand what’s wrong with you? 

Thanks for reading guys. A bit of a crap blog but that’s life some days lol. X